Homesick,'cos i no longer know what home is.

Turning and trying to shut my mind off was what my night consisted of.
and i started crying out of nowhere 'cos of a realization.
i am becoming like him more and more each day.
i don't want anyone to look at me and see me the way i see him.
when people see me i don't want them to see what i see when i look at you.
'cos when i look at you all i see;besides being humble,loving,and a perfect man,
is a man that's been tortured by this cruel world.
when i look into your eyes i see pain,misery,longing,and a cry for help.
i want to help you so bad,with ever part of me.but i can't.
'cos we're both alike.and sometimes i feel like i can't even help myself.
and that is what causes me to weep at night.
when it's silent and the rest of the world is sleeping,all i can think about
is how we are two hurt souls that no one will ever understand,or help.
i also wonder what you think about and how you cope with all
the pain that you carry in you.
what i would give to free you from that burden,from those chains.
if only someone could truly understand and accept us.
but for now i will remain shut,and hidden without words.
and i won't give up on the idea that maybe one day we'll be free from the hurt.
i know that i will NEVER be a part of your life,but you'll always
remain in mines 'cos you were there when i had nothing.
forever more,my darling V.
i hope we one day meet.

xoxo