The moment of our love.

I am not one to love.
i self-destruct all my relationships 'cos i'm scared to let someone
know me,skin deep.
i love love though,everything about it is wonderful and treacherous.
it makes you weak and helpless...then it has the other side,loving.
your life isn't your own anymore.
i dunno how to love.i feel like i love the wrong way.
or that the love i do have isn't enough.
so i hide my heart,and only few have seen it.

It's in the stars we'll never die if we stay together.

Tonight is the premiere of The Dudesons In America!
i am too excited,i mean SERIOUSLY excited.i know my day will go great
'cos it all leads to them :)
they can honestly cheer me up on a horrid day.
i can feel like total shit and watching them makes those feelings
fly out the window,i feel complete bliss and filled with joy.
i can cry and laugh and know that everything will be alright.
so just dedicating my day to these four killer finnish boys;Jukka,Jarno,HP,and Jarppi.
for all the laughter and wisdom they've brought into my life.
and i can't forget the happy memories they gave me in those couple of minutes.

xoxo

Missä muruseni on?

Waiting for the summer is unlike me.
it's usually the season i dislike the most,the cold runs in my blood.
which is why i love the autumn and winter.
for some reason i really can't wait for my summer vacation 'cos i have to get
my shit together.i have loads of things that i must get done.
and i guess i shall now spill that in summer of 2012 i may go to Finland :)
i'll be done with school in a year,and from here i'm going to study in Helsinki for the summer.
and while in Finland i'm hoping on finding jobs in fashion.
so i finally know what i want to do and how.i was speaking about flaws last week,and i got the idea of doing a photo of me and my sister's eyes.
it's all natural lighting,there's NO PHOTOSHOP.all i did to it was turn
it black and white except for our eyes.
that's her natural eye colour and natural long lashes;which my sisters and i envy,
and as for me that is a NATURAL beauty mark under my eye,i DO NOT draw it on.
why would i??does it look like i have time to draw it on all the time?no.
and that is my "natural" eye colour.
let me explain 'cos some don't understand.so my natural eye colour is REALLY dark,
almost black;as a kid my brother wanted them haha,anyways so,the outer part is
a blue.but then;here's the crazy part,they change to a dark blue,and also change to
green with blue specs.
my mum and dad think that it's 'cos my eyes can't decide if they wanted his colour
or my mum's family's eye colour...i on the other hand wish they
were just one colour,you know,'cos it's the NORMAL thing.but eh,just eyes i suppose.

xoxo

Music is my god,and is the only love that has never left me.

I wanted to do a blog on what i've been listening to lately.
i mostly listen to foreign music or bands from different countries.
here we go:
1.HIM-"Disarm Me(with your loneliness)"the whole screamworks album in its entirety
2.Chisu-"Sama Nainen"
3.Jenni Vartiainen-"Missä Muruseni On?" "Halvalla"
4.Keane-"Your Eyes Open" "Perfect Symmetry"
5.Blue Foundation-"Watch You Sleeping"
6.A Fine Frenzy-"Happier"
7.The Script-"If You See Kay" "The End Where I Begin"
8.Negative-"Neverending Parade"
9.Elvis Perkins-"Send My Fond Regards To Lonelyville"
10.Mazzy Star-"Take Everything"
11.Manna-"For Your Information" "She Moves"
12.Daniel Lioneye-"We Gonna Go Rockin Tonight"
13.The Sounds-"Night After Night" "Midnight Sun"
14.The Beatles-"Get Back" "I Saw Her Standing There"
15.Damn Seagulls-"Once We Were Thieves"
enjoy the lovely music ;)

xoxo

I don't know you,and i don't want to.

My mood is such rubbish today.
i could seriously just sleep forever.
i don't want to be here right now,i'm quite exhausted and
my head is full blown in the clouds.
this class is so boring :/
i feel homesick!!!!
can't wait 'til 5 to get out of here and head home in the train.
it's really cleansing for me;in a sense,wandering in my thoughts while listening to music
and aimlessly staring at strangers.
i wouldn't have it any other way.
soon as i go home i'm going to shower or take a bubble bath,and
hit the mattress.i'm a mute today;when aren't i?,such an introvert.
but still i'm not talking to anyone,i don't feel like it.
it's one of those days.

xoxo

I am here to stay,roaring with the wind...there's life within.

Today is a windy day :)
i absolutely woke up late for school and didn't do anything to my hair...
well the wind styled it a bit for me.
i took a couple of pictures with my finland flag in dedication
to the lovely men that i miss dearly.
so i can't wait for this saturday,i am going to eat sushi with my long time
friend...or as i would like to call him davidtelo.These are the sequin shorts i wore to the HIM show last friday,with leggings of course.
and with a different shirt also.
i LOVE them,their so comfy and sparkly.
yeah,as you can tell i was in a mood to take loads of pictures.
i came home from school giddy and happy...thank you Ville <3
ugh,a bad thing about today is mum keeps asking me questions!!!!
"how was your day?" "do you know where this is?" "Did you get me that fabric?"
"i love your soft hair" "can i get that?"
aaaaaaaaaaaaah!can't people get that i love being alone,don't bother me!!!
bloody hell i'm such a prude,but i truly don't like being bothered
by my mum,she asks the most ridiculous questions.
i can go from being happy to angry and annoyed 'cos of her.
school is the same everyday,my days are always the same.ALWAYS THE SAME!
yes i did this,got you that,okay,uuugh.
i need to relax hahaha mum!
but overall;so far,my day is going great.
i just don't want to think about classes tomorrow 8-5 -____-
it always puts me in the worst mood.but at least their fun classes,
and at least this quarter i didn't get a saturday class.
so i think tonight i'm going to officially move Sidley into my bedroom.
she wasn't allowed in their by my parents for obvious reasons;asthma and allergies.
but i don't care,she belongs in my chamber,my solace,my privacy :)

Toivottavasti kaikki on ottaa hyvä päivä
xoxo

You're hiding yourself away from our cruel world's embrace.

Woke up with a ton of inspirations this evening.
let's just say changes are coming :) i do love CHANGE.
i am glad that i only have a little bit of homework for patternmaking class.
bad thing about today is that i woke up craving wonton soup.this young flower is my "little" sister Meli/Missy.
this was a couple of weeks ago when she was planting tomatoes and sunflowers
in the garden we have.
a thing i always noticed about her was that cute little nose of hers.
i always wanted that,and still do.
she's too pretty,and i would give anything to look like her,BUT
i am ME and that's the only person i am used to seeing in the mirror,and
the only one i'd prefer seeing.
everyone looks different,and i've accepted my flaws.
whether i like them or not i would never consider getting surgery on my face
or body,i look this way for a reason >.> MUM and DAD!! :)
i mean i also completely stopped dying my hair;it's a la natural,
i don't wear tons of makeup like i used to.
why hide your face?
the only time i would wear a lot of eyeliner or makeup is either
for Halloween or for taking pictures,but besides that
i'm okay with what i have.
no dispongo de más,voy a estar para hacer frente a todo.
voy a luchar por cada respiración hasta que no queda nada de nosotros.
te necesito para creer en mi.

p.s.i love speaking different languages :)

xoxo